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18 Ways To Be A Bastard In Games Part 3

7. GRAND THEFT AUTO IV – HOSPITAL DESTRUCTION

Niko dies mid-crime spree.

You’re annoyed and want to vent.

Rockstar happen to respawn him in a nearby hospital, laden with patients napping on their guerneys….

The words ‘shooting’, ‘fish’ and ‘barrel’ come to mind.

Oh, and ‘bastard’.

8. BIOSHOCK – MR.MATEY

BioShock maps child murder to a button press; you don’t have to look hard for evil.

The bastard, however, celebrates unnecessary evil.

Both BioShock and its shinier sequel supply you with a Pick ‘n’ Mix of torturing abilities – less pink foam prawns, more bee attacks.

For our money (salvaged from a nearby dustbin, naturally) it doesn’t get better than the electro-bath.

Set a Splicer aflame with the incinerate plasmid and just as he jumps into nearby water, fire an electro bolt into the shimmering wetness. The notion that he sees his fate buzzing before him is most pleasing.

9. RED DEAD REDEMPTION – DICK DASTARDLY, YOU OL’ BASTARD

 With my recent “10 tracks to hear this week“.

I must add a little red dead redemption into the mix of bastardly deeds.

So here’s my favourite, what we need to do is hogtie a helpless civilian, extra bastard points for a civilian of female origin.

Place her onto your horse and ride to the nearest train track (providing there is no law enforcements on you).

And lay your unsuspecting victim straight right. slap. bang. in the middle of those deadly tracks!

Extra Bastard points for putting your bandana on before you commit this unsightly deed.

More to come, including CRACKDOWN, SAW, GODFATHER II and more!

Why Grand Theft Auto IV Is Still A Top Game

May 8, 2010 1 comment

So, I was playing Grand Theft Auto 4 on Xbox, it was just like any other night, accept this night was special (Hold for awkward silence…). I’m not going to bore you with details we basically;

  • Took a bike
  • Took a boat
  • Drove the bike onto the boat
  • Made it across to happiness island with the bike (that’s a lie, it actually took over 8 attempts, it sound more impressive if i say the first time 🙂 )

BIKE TO HAPINESS ISLAND YOUTUBE VIDEO

CAR TO HAPINESS ISLAND YOUTUBE VIDEO (BAD QUALITY)

So we were all pretty impressed with what he had achieved…

This should be the end of the blog right?

wrong…

So I have decided to prove to you (when we find them) why Grand Theft Auto IV is still one of the best games out there and even after completing the game you can still find things to do! And when we find them, we’ll post them!

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