Posts Tagged ‘bastard’

18 Ways To Be A Bastard In Games Part 2

So Continuing from the last post. Let’s get those bastard points up!

4. Modern Warfare 2 – One Man Bastard

Most of these malicious tips see you preying on helpless AI.

Want to be a more of that evil kind of bastard?

Get on to modern warfare 2 online!

There’s a new sensation doing the rounds guaranteed to vilify you in an instant.

It’s n00btubing –

the art of clumsily killing enemies with rampant grenade launcher use

– but a potent new strain of n00btubing.

With the One Man Army perk equipped you can change classes mid-fight – when the n00btube runs out of ammo, simply switch to the same class to restock.

Infinite grenades?

Bastard get!

Recently, the tactic at least became challenging due to a patch that increases your class swap time with each swap during a single life. Your bastardly intentions become more difficult the longer you attempt them.

5. Fable II – Consider this, a divorce.

Wives, eh?

Can’t live with ‘em, can’t murder them without accruing evil points.

Time to call in a friend to kill your wife. In co-op mode, the second player takes the bad karma by doing the deed and you stand idly by, dreaming of all the buxom young wenches you can now obtain.

Delete the second player and the world is none the wiser.

It’s basically the plot of Strangers on a Train.

For extra bastard points, take control of the second player and do her in like a split personality psycho killer!

6. Red Faction: Guerilla – Bomberman!

We could have filled our night of bastardry with civilian killing in sandbox games.

So unnecessary and yet so compulsive… A bit like Val Kilmer.

Guerrilla devs Volition are no strangers to random torture impulses, programming in a brilliant panicking animation should you stick a remote charge to a civ’s head.

Arms flapping, they screech around in the dust like a child chased by a bee.

Only it’s not a bee.

It’s a giant metallic charge clamped to their face.

Prolong the fear as long as your bastard gland so desires and push the button.

You… You evil people!

More to come, including GRAND THEFT AUTO IV, BIOSHOCK, RED DEAD REDEMPTION and more!

18 Ways To be A Bastard In Games

May 29, 2010 1 comment

Ever thought to yourself, “I’m evil”? In-fact so evil that Im going to be a bastard in this game.

Here’s the first 3 ways to achieve your goal… More to come soon!

you evil bastard…

1. Fallout 3 – Anti-robbing

So, we establish;

pick pocketing: bad

give pocketing: Good

With barely 2 bottle caps to rub together, being the good Samaritan you can sneak gifts or presents into the pockets of fellow wastelanders. But this thread isn’t about being the perfect guy on fallout 3. Why not sneak frag grenades into the pockets of fellow wastelanders!!! Now it doesn’t matter if they don’t have 2 bottle caps to rub together because they don’t have 2 fingers to rub them together with.

2. Prototype – pedestrian leap of faith

For years the generous spider man games have let us scale the empire state building to let us stare in awe at the magnificent pixelated view. But if i wanted that i would of gone there myself. Prototype take it that one step further… by letting you lob pedestrians of the top!

I honestly don’t know what’s funnier.

The long grueling climb to the top with the squirming person in hand.

Or the anti-climax of watching them turn from a clump of struggling mass… to a tiny dot in the distance.

Bonus bastard points for using the glide ability to observe her decent close up…

3. Assassins Creed II – Arms for the poor

Threat of desynchronisation prevents Ezio from going stab happy on the population of Venice. However, there’s nothing in the Animus handbook about getting a guard to do it for you.

Find a witless peacekeeper with a hammer and stick him with the poison blade to get his arms a-flailing.

Now throw coins at his feet and watch the chaos unfold as the magpie AI forces nearby gentry to lunge for the shiny trinkets – straight into crazy’s hammer time.

Im sorry, this is pure evil… but so funny.