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18 Ways To Be A Bastard In Games Part 3

7. GRAND THEFT AUTO IV – HOSPITAL DESTRUCTION

Niko dies mid-crime spree.

You’re annoyed and want to vent.

Rockstar happen to respawn him in a nearby hospital, laden with patients napping on their guerneys….

The words ‘shooting’, ‘fish’ and ‘barrel’ come to mind.

Oh, and ‘bastard’.

8. BIOSHOCK – MR.MATEY

BioShock maps child murder to a button press; you don’t have to look hard for evil.

The bastard, however, celebrates unnecessary evil.

Both BioShock and its shinier sequel supply you with a Pick ‘n’ Mix of torturing abilities – less pink foam prawns, more bee attacks.

For our money (salvaged from a nearby dustbin, naturally) it doesn’t get better than the electro-bath.

Set a Splicer aflame with the incinerate plasmid and just as he jumps into nearby water, fire an electro bolt into the shimmering wetness. The notion that he sees his fate buzzing before him is most pleasing.

9. RED DEAD REDEMPTION – DICK DASTARDLY, YOU OL’ BASTARD

 With my recent “10 tracks to hear this week“.

I must add a little red dead redemption into the mix of bastardly deeds.

So here’s my favourite, what we need to do is hogtie a helpless civilian, extra bastard points for a civilian of female origin.

Place her onto your horse and ride to the nearest train track (providing there is no law enforcements on you).

And lay your unsuspecting victim straight right. slap. bang. in the middle of those deadly tracks!

Extra Bastard points for putting your bandana on before you commit this unsightly deed.

More to come, including CRACKDOWN, SAW, GODFATHER II and more!

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Grand Theft Auto IV – Majestic Pent House

So many people are saying, this isn’t a secret.

But screw you it’s hard to get to on multiplayer!

This video isn’t mine (courtesy of PokeWizKev826)

– Obtain A Helicopter

– Fly To Nickel St. Shown as the red and black dot On This Handy Little Map;

-Make A Shoddy Attempt At Trying To Drop In

– There you have it!

Maybe The Video Would Make More Sense…

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More Things To Do soon!!!

18 Ways To Be A Bastard In Games Part 2

So Continuing from the last post. Let’s get those bastard points up!

4. Modern Warfare 2 – One Man Bastard

Most of these malicious tips see you preying on helpless AI.

Want to be a more of that evil kind of bastard?

Get on to modern warfare 2 online!

There’s a new sensation doing the rounds guaranteed to vilify you in an instant.

It’s n00btubing –

the art of clumsily killing enemies with rampant grenade launcher use

– but a potent new strain of n00btubing.

With the One Man Army perk equipped you can change classes mid-fight – when the n00btube runs out of ammo, simply switch to the same class to restock.

Infinite grenades?

Bastard get!

Recently, the tactic at least became challenging due to a patch that increases your class swap time with each swap during a single life. Your bastardly intentions become more difficult the longer you attempt them.

5. Fable II – Consider this, a divorce.

Wives, eh?

Can’t live with ‘em, can’t murder them without accruing evil points.

Time to call in a friend to kill your wife. In co-op mode, the second player takes the bad karma by doing the deed and you stand idly by, dreaming of all the buxom young wenches you can now obtain.

Delete the second player and the world is none the wiser.

It’s basically the plot of Strangers on a Train.

For extra bastard points, take control of the second player and do her in like a split personality psycho killer!

6. Red Faction: Guerilla – Bomberman!

We could have filled our night of bastardry with civilian killing in sandbox games.

So unnecessary and yet so compulsive… A bit like Val Kilmer.

Guerrilla devs Volition are no strangers to random torture impulses, programming in a brilliant panicking animation should you stick a remote charge to a civ’s head.

Arms flapping, they screech around in the dust like a child chased by a bee.

Only it’s not a bee.

It’s a giant metallic charge clamped to their face.

Prolong the fear as long as your bastard gland so desires and push the button.

You… You evil people!

More to come, including GRAND THEFT AUTO IV, BIOSHOCK, RED DEAD REDEMPTION and more!

Why Grand Theft Auto IV Is Still A Top Game

May 8, 2010 1 comment

So, I was playing Grand Theft Auto 4 on Xbox, it was just like any other night, accept this night was special (Hold for awkward silence…). I’m not going to bore you with details we basically;

  • Took a bike
  • Took a boat
  • Drove the bike onto the boat
  • Made it across to happiness island with the bike (that’s a lie, it actually took over 8 attempts, it sound more impressive if i say the first time 🙂 )

BIKE TO HAPINESS ISLAND YOUTUBE VIDEO

CAR TO HAPINESS ISLAND YOUTUBE VIDEO (BAD QUALITY)

So we were all pretty impressed with what he had achieved…

This should be the end of the blog right?

wrong…

So I have decided to prove to you (when we find them) why Grand Theft Auto IV is still one of the best games out there and even after completing the game you can still find things to do! And when we find them, we’ll post them!

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