Home > Gaming > 18 Ways To Be A Bastard In Games Part 3

18 Ways To Be A Bastard In Games Part 3

7. GRAND THEFT AUTO IV – HOSPITAL DESTRUCTION

Niko dies mid-crime spree.

You’re annoyed and want to vent.

Rockstar happen to respawn him in a nearby hospital, laden with patients napping on their guerneys….

The words ‘shooting’, ‘fish’ and ‘barrel’ come to mind.

Oh, and ‘bastard’.

8. BIOSHOCK – MR.MATEY

BioShock maps child murder to a button press; you don’t have to look hard for evil.

The bastard, however, celebrates unnecessary evil.

Both BioShock and its shinier sequel supply you with a Pick ‘n’ Mix of torturing abilities – less pink foam prawns, more bee attacks.

For our money (salvaged from a nearby dustbin, naturally) it doesn’t get better than the electro-bath.

Set a Splicer aflame with the incinerate plasmid and just as he jumps into nearby water, fire an electro bolt into the shimmering wetness. The notion that he sees his fate buzzing before him is most pleasing.

9. RED DEAD REDEMPTION – DICK DASTARDLY, YOU OL’ BASTARD

 With my recent “10 tracks to hear this week“.

I must add a little red dead redemption into the mix of bastardly deeds.

So here’s my favourite, what we need to do is hogtie a helpless civilian, extra bastard points for a civilian of female origin.

Place her onto your horse and ride to the nearest train track (providing there is no law enforcements on you).

And lay your unsuspecting victim straight right. slap. bang. in the middle of those deadly tracks!

Extra Bastard points for putting your bandana on before you commit this unsightly deed.

More to come, including CRACKDOWN, SAW, GODFATHER II and more!

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